 Richard Nixon Came From Nothing and Took Everything
You Decide!
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Charge: Being The Best President Ever |
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GUILTY |
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INNOCENT |
HUNG JURY
VERDICT - 50% INNOCENT |
 No American President, except maybe T.R., has kicked more ass than Richard Milhous Nixon!
I know what you're saying... I know. You're saying "What? That Republican douche?" but hear me out for a minute. This guy came from nothing. Dirt poor. His father was a grocer and his mother a housewife. He, through ingenious and fierce name-calling and political wrangling became the most powerful man on earth.
What about Watergate?
What about it? During the investigation, he won the second largest presidential landslide in American voting history. The average person didn't care. Just the average media cunt that was out to sell a newspaper or get a TV viewer. It was shameful really. Sure the man was outspoken, sure he did some things wrong but no more so than any other President. He just made the mistake of having tapes for posterity. Lyndon Johnson, his predecessor, had the taping system removed. Nixon was assured that they were his property. Some dick stole some tapes. So... he did end the longest running warfare in American history, desegregate schools, and open trade with Red China. This fourth of July we're Cocking history and accusing him of being the best President ever!
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GUILTY!